Comments for http://sotah.net Thu, 27 May 2010 22:30:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ Comment on The blog I never write by Chana http://sotah.net/2010/05/27/the-blog-i-never-write/#comment-674 Chana Thu, 27 May 2010 22:30:34 +0000 http://sotah.net/?p=142#comment-674 dear sotah, your words are gift to the world, you only need to write them down for their magic to be spread :) dear sotah, your words are gift to the world, you only need to write them down for their magic to be spread :)

]]> Comment on The will of God and leaving Orthodox Judaism by afterallthistime http://sotah.net/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-667 afterallthistime Sun, 18 Apr 2010 04:06:21 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-667 It's been some time since we both posted our stories - how are things? I'm divorced. My eldest is, thankfully, not frum, and is finding his way in the world. My ex and I share custody in name - they live with him 99% of the time since it wasn't fair to take them out of the community they've lived in for their entire lives. Meanwhile, I'm working on developing a career for myself. It’s been some time since we both posted our stories – how are things? I’m divorced. My eldest is, thankfully, not frum, and is finding his way in the world. My ex and I share custody in name – they live with him 99% of the time since it wasn’t fair to take them out of the community they’ve lived in for their entire lives. Meanwhile, I’m working on developing a career for myself.

]]> Comment on The will of God and leaving Orthodox Judaism by linda http://sotah.net/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-665 linda Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:42:43 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-665 I am a convert to OJ but am struggling very much with hashkofa and basically realizing that my future lies with raising children and putting my dream of school on the back burner for good. I am struggling with the fact that I do not want children and yet people constantly tell me that once I have one that I will want more. I just do not have the desire to do it, not even one, though I do want to find someone and get married. But it seems that marriage in OJ is not about sharing a life and love with someone, it is either children or staying single. Even though I chose this religion, I feel trapped now and do not know how to continue. I tell myself I want to stay orthodox, but am not even sure if it is out of fear of transgression. What good is leaving? I was once on the other side. Is it possible to be OJ married and careerists? Is there anyone here who is OJ happily married and child-free? I feel often feel very overwhelmed by all of this. I'd love to talk with anyone. please feel free to respond to this/email me. I am a convert to OJ but am struggling very much with hashkofa and basically realizing that my future lies with raising children and putting my dream of school on the back burner for good. I am struggling with the fact that I do not want children and yet people constantly tell me that once I have one that I will want more. I just do not have the desire to do it, not even one, though I do want to find someone and get married. But it seems that marriage in OJ is not about sharing a life and love with someone, it is either children or staying single. Even though I chose this religion, I feel trapped now and do not know how to continue. I tell myself I want to stay orthodox, but am not even sure if it is out of fear of transgression. What good is leaving? I was once on the other side. Is it possible to be OJ married and careerists? Is there anyone here who is OJ happily married and child-free?

I feel often feel very overwhelmed by all of this. I’d love to talk with anyone. please feel free to respond to this/email me.

]]> Comment on The will of God and leaving Orthodox Judaism by linda http://sotah.net/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-664 linda Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:32:20 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-664 Hi, I also converted to Orthodox Judaism but am struggling very much with hashkofa and basically realizing that my future lies with raising children and putting my dream of finishing my education on the back burner for good. I feel as though I have no choice and often feel very overwhelmed by it. I'd love to talk with you if you'd be willing. Please feel free to email me. Hi, I also converted to Orthodox Judaism but am struggling very much with hashkofa and basically realizing that my future lies with raising children and putting my dream of finishing my education on the back burner for good. I feel as though I have no choice and often feel very overwhelmed by it. I’d love to talk with you if you’d be willing. Please feel free to email me.

]]> Comment on The will of God and leaving Orthodox Judaism by Tink Belle http://sotah.net/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-662 Tink Belle Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:20:37 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-662 Hi I am Jewish and am old to Modern Orthodox Liberal Judaism but new to Modern Orthodox Machmir Judaism. Seems like a tiny difference, huh? But no. Anyway I come from a secular background and have no problem incorporating the will of God with Orthodoxy. I don't know who is telling you that you cannot live out your career passion that God has called upon you for, and to be able to be shomer Shabbos, but maybe you need to find a new community or a new Rabbi who supports your calling. Hi I am Jewish and am old to Modern Orthodox Liberal Judaism but new to Modern Orthodox Machmir Judaism.

Seems like a tiny difference, huh? But no. Anyway I come from a secular background and have no problem incorporating the will of God with Orthodoxy.

I don’t know who is telling you that you cannot live out your career passion that God has called upon you for, and to be able to be shomer Shabbos, but maybe you need to find a new community or a new Rabbi who supports your calling.

]]> Comment on Who is the Sotah? by Yehoshua http://sotah.net/who-is-the-sotah/#comment-649 Yehoshua Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:56:19 +0000 http://sotah.net/?page_id=124#comment-649 BS"D "IMAGINE" That is well.. uh . Are you trying to base source text Toah on a Hipathetical? Bitter waters.. Hmm the only time ever A Kohen or priest can soak the letters of a Holy scroll in Water and destroy Hashems name = TO SAVE A MARRIAGE. People to this day hear things, see things and Imagine things that well.. are just not Emet(Truth). Hashem said have courts for justice and even had the waters of Sotah for the power and station of the Women to not be in question once the ritual was over. A Gut Shabbus, Yehoshua BS”D

“IMAGINE”

That is well.. uh . Are you trying to base source text Toah on a Hipathetical?

Bitter waters.. Hmm the only time ever A Kohen or priest can soak the letters of a Holy scroll in Water and destroy Hashems name = TO SAVE A MARRIAGE. People to this day hear things, see things and Imagine things that well.. are just not Emet(Truth). Hashem said have courts for justice and even had the waters of Sotah for the power and station of the Women to not be in question once the ritual was over.

A Gut Shabbus,

Yehoshua

]]> Comment on END KIDUSHIN NOW by Yehoshua http://sotah.net/2009/05/28/end-kidushin-now/#comment-648 Yehoshua Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:43:58 +0000 http://sotah.net/?p=117#comment-648 BS"D Very interesting how this seems to be microscoped out of context. Pshat in the Torah FROM:"Woman = Jewish", "Man = Tribe". i.e. If a Man is a Levi then his sons are Leviim if the mother is Jewish. If a mother is Jewish and the Father is not the Child is still Jewish yet can not carry the Tribal line. The reason these points fit here at least looking from a Chzeh B'Tshuva perspective is that well.. Its like your missing the point. Women hold the power = Shabbat Candles, Chalah and Niddah. Without a light burning the man has no becan at the table for Kiddush. Without Challah one has no Seder for Shabbat. Without Mikveh the couple has no union. Hashem gave the women powers that men dont have ; yet for some reason the ""covering or tsniut"" is being taken like a burden or lowing of status. Hashem tells us thru Chazal that a man of Humbleness is to be looked to for guidance and respect. (Look to the Chasid named REB ZUSHE the brother of the Maggid of Metzritch) How much more so does that shine on a women. The story of Esther, Ruth, Sarah HUMBLE HUMBLE HUMBLE... Giving Kavod to the men Thru the guidance of their husband. In Jewdeism the woman is called the home NOT THE MAN. And the women is in charge of the most influential years for guiding the children. WHY must women see or feel these roles with such ANTI that as you say, "find a NON-Jew to witness?" Very strange. Looking to the ideal philisophical world ok I get it But Torah Jews.. hmm. When talking about BEING JEWISH and refering to Torah and if speaking of the ever constant presence of Hashem in the world.... Different Translation is like sayin "Well it looks like the Pig chews the cud so eat it(Please no!) Yet for Thousands of years and sourcing the Torah it sais NOT to eat it. New versions of Jewdeism( Not refering to Garments, Siddur order or even beard and not beard(Sheitel, Tichel, Fall or hat) ) can be dangerous for the generations realy making an effort to connect with the source that Moshe brought us on Har Sinai. THIS IS NOT blind faith, we were there together, about 3,000,000 souls sharring in Hashems light. The Women chose not to build the calf just like the Leviim. Remember the Women Do connect, yet sometimes the identity of that connection can throw all of us off. Thank you for sharring. A Gut Shabbus, Yehoshua BS”D

Very interesting how this seems to be microscoped out of context.
Pshat in the Torah FROM:”Woman = Jewish”, “Man = Tribe”.
i.e. If a Man is a Levi then his sons are Leviim if the mother is Jewish. If a mother is Jewish and the Father is not the Child is still Jewish yet can not carry the Tribal line.
The reason these points fit here at least looking from a Chzeh B’Tshuva perspective is that well.. Its like your missing the point.
Women hold the power = Shabbat Candles, Chalah and Niddah.
Without a light burning the man has no becan at the table for Kiddush. Without Challah one has no Seder for Shabbat. Without Mikveh the couple has no union. Hashem gave the women powers that men dont have ; yet for some reason the “”covering or tsniut”" is being taken like a burden or lowing of status. Hashem tells us thru Chazal that a man of Humbleness is to be looked to for guidance and respect. (Look to the Chasid named REB ZUSHE the brother of the Maggid of Metzritch) How much more so does that shine on a women. The story of Esther, Ruth, Sarah HUMBLE HUMBLE HUMBLE… Giving Kavod to the men Thru the guidance of their husband. In Jewdeism the woman is called the home NOT THE MAN. And the women is in charge of the most influential years for guiding the children. WHY must women see or feel these roles with such ANTI that as you say, “find a NON-Jew to witness?” Very strange. Looking to the ideal philisophical world ok I get it But Torah Jews.. hmm. When talking about BEING JEWISH and refering to Torah and if speaking of the ever constant presence of Hashem in the world…. Different Translation is like sayin “Well it looks like the Pig chews the cud so eat it(Please no!) Yet for Thousands of years and sourcing the Torah it sais NOT to eat it. New versions of Jewdeism( Not refering to Garments, Siddur order or even beard and not beard(Sheitel, Tichel, Fall or hat) ) can be dangerous for the generations realy making an effort to connect with the source that Moshe brought us on Har Sinai. THIS IS NOT blind faith, we were there together, about 3,000,000 souls sharring in Hashems light. The Women chose not to build the calf just like the Leviim. Remember the Women Do connect, yet sometimes the identity of that connection can throw all of us off. Thank you for sharring.

A Gut Shabbus,

Yehoshua

]]> Comment on The will of God and leaving Orthodox Judaism by Mr Ez http://sotah.net/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-642 Mr Ez Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:35:43 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-642 You are a very sincere person and very deep. This is why you question. I have also been on a long quest, converting orthodox and now leaving. I've found it scary out here, but less scary than in there with the orthodox. Just don't forget that most jews are not so fundamentalist, most attending for social/cultural reasons and to be part of a crowd. Just because you are now unorthodox doesn't mean you have to lose all your friends and start again- unless you want to of course! Just declare that you don't believe to people when they talk their rubbish and they can't do anything about it. Those who tolerate you are fine, and those who don't are entitled to their opinion as well. Don't forget that they may even change, just like you have. Change is natural and we all grow: towards or away. Now I see that people who accept to be in a religion become very limited and small people. It's such a shame but that is their freedom to choose. So where should us 'apostates' find our spiritual nourishment? Well, that is very personal for each of us. If you still believe in God this can be one route. For me, as a scientist, I find infinitely more spirituality in everything scientific than in those bible stories, many of which must be untrue e.g. why is there no evidence of a worldwide flood in the ground, why does all the fossil, archaeological and genetic evidence show that we are not descended from Noah or Adam? Science is so wonderful, awesome extraordinary and, the best part, evidentual and provable. Just go to the Natural History Museum and see the infinitely complex story of geology and the evolution of life on Earth. It's the most wonderful story. So be happy, don't worry, keep asking those questions, remember that you can still be friends with people who disagree with you, chill out and remember...wishy-washy people are the majority. Whilst you are far from wishy-washy, you can still find friends among them. Finding deep friends is harder, but inevitable. Get married to a freethinker-that brings stability-that's what I'm trying to do! P.S. I love the comments people have posted. I can see there are so many good people who also have doubts: See! You can be a good person without being OJ! I wish I could meet you lovely people! You are a very sincere person and very deep. This is why you question. I have also been on a long quest, converting orthodox and now leaving. I’ve found it scary out here, but less scary than in there with the orthodox. Just don’t forget that most jews are not so fundamentalist, most attending for social/cultural reasons and to be part of a crowd. Just because you are now unorthodox doesn’t mean you have to lose all your friends and start again- unless you want to of course! Just declare that you don’t believe to people when they talk their rubbish and they can’t do anything about it. Those who tolerate you are fine, and those who don’t are entitled to their opinion as well. Don’t forget that they may even change, just like you have. Change is natural and we all grow: towards or away. Now I see that people who accept to be in a religion become very limited and small people. It’s such a shame but that is their freedom to choose. So where should us ‘apostates’ find our spiritual nourishment? Well, that is very personal for each of us. If you still believe in God this can be one route. For me, as a scientist, I find infinitely more spirituality in everything scientific than in those bible stories, many of which must be untrue e.g. why is there no evidence of a worldwide flood in the ground, why does all the fossil, archaeological and genetic evidence show that we are not descended from Noah or Adam? Science is so wonderful, awesome extraordinary and, the best part, evidentual and provable. Just go to the Natural History Museum and see the infinitely complex story of geology and the evolution of life on Earth. It’s the most wonderful story.

So be happy, don’t worry, keep asking those questions, remember that you can still be friends with people who disagree with you, chill out and remember…wishy-washy people are the majority. Whilst you are far from wishy-washy, you can still find friends among them. Finding deep friends is harder, but inevitable. Get married to a freethinker-that brings stability-that’s what I’m trying to do!

P.S. I love the comments people have posted. I can see there are so many good people who also have doubts: See! You can be a good person without being OJ! I wish I could meet you lovely people!

]]> Comment on The will of God and leaving Orthodox Judaism by Lisette http://sotah.net/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-640 Lisette Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:08:25 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/the-will-of-god-and-leaving-orthodox-judaism/#comment-640 I have decided to leave OJ after gradually becoming very observant over the years, more or less. No matter how unobservant I was from time to time, the main pull to OJ remained until I called my own bluff and eventually kept all the laws. But I began to feel very uneasy doing so, something was not right. It was not jiving with my inner beliefs about humanity and the universe. I felt some of it was dehumanizing and created division & resentment at the national & individual level. I felt there were strong psychological components as to why individuals and communities worship, as well as financial advantages, which made it all seem less genuine. I noticed certain behaviors were more common in those who rigidly observed than in those who did not. On a personal level I did not have good experiences, never really fit in. I did not know if I was the cause of that, or the effect. What once meant peace & solace became constant demand & deprivation. I felt punished somehow by being more restricted & forced to be different & work harder than others. Certain things did not make sense to me so I drew some of my own conclusions. I began looking at other religions and noticed similarities among all. How can was all be he chosen? Leaving was very hard, as we are creatures of habit, and I felt a lot of reactive guilt. I also feared offending other observers. Even though I was not strong enough to remain OJ (or perhaps I was strong enough to leave), I still respect others' observance. Eventually my emancipation felt like the right thing to do and I began to enjoy myself more. I, too, had trouble finding posts by infidels and others specifically leaving OJ, or any organized religion. I was not born into a very observant family, so I may not be considered a true escapee; perhaps I yearned for the familiar once again. Therefore, I am more fascinated by the stories of those who left OJ after being born & raised that way. I have decided to leave OJ after gradually becoming very observant over the years, more or less. No matter how unobservant I was from time to time, the main pull to OJ remained until I called my own bluff and eventually kept all the laws. But I began to feel very uneasy doing so, something was not right. It was not jiving with my inner beliefs about humanity and the universe. I felt some of it was dehumanizing and created division & resentment at the national & individual level. I felt there were strong psychological components as to why individuals and communities worship, as well as financial advantages, which made it all seem less genuine. I noticed certain behaviors were more common in those who rigidly observed than in those who did not. On a personal level I did not have good experiences, never really fit in. I did not know if I was the cause of that, or the effect. What once meant peace & solace became constant demand & deprivation. I felt punished somehow by being more restricted & forced to be different & work harder than others. Certain things did not make sense to me so I drew some of my own conclusions. I began looking at other religions and noticed similarities among all. How can was all be he chosen? Leaving was very hard, as we are creatures of habit, and I felt a lot of reactive guilt. I also feared offending other observers. Even though I was not strong enough to remain OJ (or perhaps I was strong enough to leave), I still respect others’ observance. Eventually my emancipation felt like the right thing to do and I began to enjoy myself more. I, too, had trouble finding posts by infidels and others specifically leaving OJ, or any organized religion. I was not born into a very observant family, so I may not be considered a true escapee; perhaps I yearned for the familiar once again. Therefore, I am more fascinated by the stories of those who left OJ after being born & raised that way.

]]> Comment on The differences between Baha’i and my Judiasm by Peyam http://sotah.net/2007/05/30/the-differences-between-bahia-and-my-judiasm/#comment-633 Peyam Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:49:18 +0000 http://playingagirl.wordpress.com/2007/05/30/the-differences-between-bahia-and-my-judiasm/#comment-633 "In fact, I know quite a few gay Baha’is who choose to respect the law. For all I know, they may be having sex on the side but they don’t advertise it. And nobody is interested." Ok, so I am a gay (albeit inactive) Bahai. If I had a partner and we decided to adopt some children and raise a beautiful family. then what? Would you then be interested? Would you then remove my voting rights, tell my children that their father is sinning before God and not worthy of equal treatment, that they should be raised by a woman and a man instead? What? I'm amazed you could write such homophobic dribble and then start out by saying you've never seen any homophobia in teh Bahai community. Kay- just look in the mirror! YOU and the majority of the Bahais is the reason why this 5 generation persian Bahai will never set foot inside the homophobic Bahai community again! “In fact, I know quite a few gay Baha’is who choose to respect the law. For all I know, they may be having sex on the side but they don’t advertise it. And nobody is interested.”
Ok, so I am a gay (albeit inactive) Bahai. If I had a partner and we decided to adopt some children and raise a beautiful family. then what? Would you then be interested? Would you then remove my voting rights, tell my children that their father is sinning before God and not worthy of equal treatment, that they should be raised by a woman and a man instead? What? I’m amazed you could write such homophobic dribble and then start out by saying you’ve never seen any homophobia in teh Bahai community. Kay- just look in the mirror! YOU and the majority of the Bahais is the reason why this 5 generation persian Bahai will never set foot inside the homophobic Bahai community again!

]]>